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A
letter from Michael Moore to George Bush.
March
18th 2003
Dear Governor Bush:
So
today is what you call "the moment of truth," the day
that "France and the rest of world have to show their cards
on the table." I'm glad to hear that this day has finally
arrived. Because, I gotta tell ya, having survived 440 days of
your lying and conniving, I wasn't sure if I could take much more.
So I'm glad to hear that today is Truth Day, 'cause I got a few
truths I would like to share with you:
1.
There is virtually NO ONE in America (talk radio nutters and Fox
News aside) who is gung-ho to go to war. Trust me on this one.
Walk out of the White House and on to any street in America and
try to find five people who are PASSIONATE about wanting to kill
Iraqis. YOU WON'T FIND THEM! Why? 'Cause NO Iraqis have ever come
here and killed any of us!
No Iraqi has even threatened to do that. You see, this is how
we average Americans think: If a certain so-and-so is not perceived
as a threat to our lives, then, believe it or not, we don't want
to kill him! Funny how that works!
2.
The majority of Americans -- the ones who never elected you --
are not fooled by your weapons of mass distraction. We know what
the real issues are that affect our daily lives -- and none of
them begin with I or end in Q. Here's what threatens us: two and
a half million jobs lost since you took office, the stock market
having become a cruel joke, no one knowing if their retirement
funds are going to be there, gas now costs two dollars a gallon
-- the list goes on and on. Bombing Iraq will not make any of
this go away. Only you need to go away for things to improve.
3.
As Bill Maher said last week, how bad do you have to suck to lose
a popularity contest with Saddam Hussein? The whole world is against
you, Mr. Bush. Count your fellow Americans among them.
4.
The Pope has said this war is wrong, that it is a SIN. The Pope!
But even worse, the Dixie Chicks have now come out against you!
How bad does it have to get before you realize that you are an
army of one on this war? Of course, this is a war you personally
won't have to fight. Just like when you went AWOL while the poor
were shipped to Vietnam in your place.
5.
Of the 535 members of Congress, only ONE (Sen. Johnson of South
Dakota) has an enlisted son or daughter in the armed forces! If
you really want to stand up for America, please send your twin
daughters over to Kuwait right now and let them don their chemical
warfare suits. And let's see every member of Congress with a child
of military age also sacrifice their kids for this war effort.
What's that you say? You don't THINK so? Well, hey, guess what
-- we don't think so either!
6.
Finally, we love France. Yes, they have pulled some royal screw-ups.
Yes, some of them can be pretty damn annoying. But have you forgotten
we wouldn't even have this country known as America if it weren't
for the French? That it was their help in the Revolutionary War
that won it for us? That it was France who gave us our Statue
of Liberty, a Frenchman who built the Chevrolet, and a pair of
French brothers who invented the movies? And now they are doing
what only a good friend can do -- tell you the truth about yourself,
straight, no b.s. Quit pissing on the French and thank them for
getting it right for once. You know, you really should have traveled
more (like once) before you took over. Your ignorance of the world
has not only made you look stupid, it has painted you into a corner
you can't get out of.
Well,
cheer up -- there IS good news. If you do go through with this
war, more than likely it will be over soon because I'm guessing
there aren't a lot of Iraqis willing to lay down their lives to
protect Saddam Hussein. After you "win" the war, you
will enjoy a huge bump in the popularity polls as everyone loves
a winner -- and who doesn't like to see a good ass-whoopin' every
now and then (especially when it 's some third world ass!). And
just like with Afghanistan, we'll forget about what happens to
a country after we bomb it 'cause that is just too complex! So
try your best to ride this victory all the way to next year's
election. Of course, that's still a long ways away, so we'll all
get to have a good hardy-har-har while we watch the economy sink
even further down the toilet!
But,
hey, who knows -- maybe you'll find Osama a few days before the
election! See, start thinking like THAT! Keep hope alive! Kill
Iraqis -- they got our oil!!
Yours,
Michael
Moore
Bowling
for Columbine van Michael Moore
Nog in de bioscoop: click
hier
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